Portrait of the poet as a young nerd
by Marge Piercy
At fourteen, at seventeen, at twenty-two
I chased myself through books.
I slipped into bodies of actresses,
mimicked their gestures, tried their smiles,
tilt of head, thrust of hip.
I could not find myself in any mirror.
I was not what I was supposed to be.
I did not look like anyone I saw.
My thoughts were weird as the monsters
superheroes killed in comic books.
As a girl I was a failure. I could
pick a lock but could not flirt.
Sports seemed pointless. Words
came easily, too easily, blabbing
me into tar pits of trouble.
I did not want to be a boy. Most
of them were imbeciles, I thought,
nor did I want to be a girl or woman.
Maybe I would grow up to be a cat.
Maybe I was an alien, a changeling.
I watched myself for extra powers
the ability to read minds, to leap
tall buildings, to look through walls
but found only a balky intelligence
and that slippery passion for words:
words talking in my head, words
building palaces along rusting
tracks of the Detroit Terminal Railroad.
Words had broader wings than pigeons,
bore the beaks and claws of eagles.
